aboutmecontent

About Me - Cont.

Because my younger years were spent trying to find myself and being told that I was different because of that search I did my venting on paper. I vented in the form of poetry, rap and just writing. The things that I couldn't say to people who were supposed to be close, I put it on paper. Things that I couldn't tell superficial associates at school,

I put it on paper. Even the few friends that I made moving into my teenage years, there was always that recognition that I couldn't tell them everything, so the stuff I couldn't tell them, I put it on paper. That's partly why even to this day I can't stand to see someone snitch on another, it turns my stomach. I saw that type of betrayal while I was young, while I was observing, while others were looking at me like I was crazy because I was quiet. What I was doing was watching and learning, watching how people tried to cross each other. Watching how two people could be the best of friends and then one of those friends flip on the other one and snitch about something that should've been kept secret between those two.

I always felt different, like I didn't belong. Maybe it's because at an early age I was made to feel like I was different by people, and when people makes you feel like an outcast it's hard to go out into the larger society and feel normal. At least that was the case for me. People looked at me differently, people told me I was too quiet, told me that because I was quiet that meant I was sneaky. I was quiet, I'm an introvert, but I wasn't sneaky I was just very observant. I never wanted others to really observe me doing anything for fear that they would ridicule me or make me think that because I wasn't doing it like them I wasn't doing it right. I admit I had my own unique, awkward way of doing certain things, but it worked for me and therefore I tried to keep me hidden as much as possible because I didn't want to be changed or be made to do it like somebody else.

I won't talk about the abuse I endured because it's over with now. What I will say is that everything I've ever been through in my life up to this point has molded and sculpted me into the person I am now. Definitely not perfect and not trying to be. Still doing things in my own way, sometimes awkwardly, but the difference is now I'm grown, now I don't care who passes judgment, now I'm not going to get smacked in the face because I don't do it like somebody else may want. Now my attitude is, if a person doesn't like my style or like me, or like the way I do me, too bad, because I sleep with me at night and me is who I have to be comfortable with.

Because my younger years were spent trying to find myself and being told that I was different because of that search I did my venting on paper. I vented in the form of poetry, rap and just writing. The things that I couldn't say to people who were supposed to be close, I put it on paper. Things that I couldn't tell superficial associates at school,

I put it on paper. Even the few friends that I made moving into my teenage years, there was always that recognition that I couldn't tell them everything, so the stuff I couldn't tell them, I put it on paper. That's partly why even to this day I can't stand to see someone snitch on another, it turns my stomach. I saw that type of betrayal while I was young, while I was observing, while others were looking at me like I was crazy because I was quiet. What I was doing was watching and learning, watching how people tried to cross each other. Watching how two people could be the best of friends and then one of those friends flip on the other one and snitch about something that should've been kept secret between those two.

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